At an attempt to prove that global warming was still occurring, and that ice was melting, not forming, Jack Frost called Al Gore home on January 7, 2014.
Gore was listening to the Rush Limaugh Show on Friday, January 3, 2014, and heard Limbaugh claim that global warming was not real. Gore was on tour in International Falls, MN, and as an act of protest, walked outside and sat on the ground for 4 days straight. Our sources say that he was going for five, but physically wasn’t capable.
Al Gore will be remembered for claiming on January 27, 2006, that the Earth would be scorching in ten years. It is now January 26, 2014, and we have 2 years and 18 days to go.
In remembrance, allow me to quote Gore’s poem:
One thin September soonIn 2000, Gore ran for president, and thankfully lost the election to George Bush.
A floating continent disappears
In midnight sun
Vapors rise as
Fever settles on an acid sea
Neptune’s bones dissolve
Snow glides from the mountain
Ice fathers floods for a season
A hard rain comes quickly
Then dirt is parched
Kindling is placed in the forest
For the lightning’s celebration
Unknown creatures
Take their leave, unmourned
Horsemen ready their stirrups
Passion seeks heroes and friends
The bell of the city
On the hill is rung
The shepherd cries
The hour of choosing has arrived
Here are your tools
In 2002, Gore once again became focused on climate change. He edited and created a slideshow he had compiled, and started to tour it as a multimedia presentation around the world.
In 2006, Gore released the film, An Inconvenient Truth, in May. It was screened at the Sundance film festival in Utah, and won the “Most Fictitious Movie of the Year” award.
In 2007, Gore won the Nobel Peace Prize, which showed to the world, that the award means nothing anymore.
In 2008, Gore called on the US to produce all its energy from zero-carbon sources within 10 years, saying that the future of human civilization is at stake, which by that time, according to his statements in 2006, we all will be involuntarycremated.
In 2009, Gore testified to the Senate foreign relations committee about the dangers of global warming, two days following President Obama’s vow to put the US at the forefront of the battle against climate change, and save millions of dollars, by spending billions of dollars on green energy.
Gore was married to his wife, Tipper, who announced their divorce in 2010, after allegedly refusing to continue driving a hybrid.
Al Gore was the owner of Current TV, who sold his channel to Al Jazerra in 2013, which is a network funded by “big oil.”
DISCLAIMER: I hope you enjoyed this satire piece; Gore is still alive and wel… or shall I say physically well.
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